Pan and Aphrodite for Humanity’s Sexual Healing

Sexuality has been a rather dysfunctional area of the human experience, in the past and today also. Even though, in the western world, we may appear as ‘liberated’, ‘uninhibited’, ‘progressed’ and ‘advanced’ in sexual matters, with free pornography and prostitution, Internet sex, promiscuous sex with strangers, countless sex advice on popular magazines, huge expenses on improving our sex-appeal and appearance, sexuality is not much more balanced today than at other times. Neither is its connection to spirituality widely recognized. Sexual energies, when cleared of any excessively ‘positive’ (obsession) or ‘negative’ (judgment) attributes, can be used for the return and re-anchoring of higher frequencies in our lives and the world around us.

Hardly do we realize the importance of sexual health to spiritual health. We mostly regard sexuality as an isolated part, cut-off from the rest of our lives. Yet, sexuality is an inseparable part of one’s expression of life force. A couple with a healthy sex life, based on love, respect, inspiration and creativity, exudes such delightful energy, which helps, not only themselves, but also the world and the people around them in invisible ways. The same applies to a person who may be single, yet at peace, comfort and acceptance of his/her sexuality, while expressing his/her creative force in different ways. Despite the media’s brainwashing, sexual health (in the spiritual sense) is NOT determined by the frequency of our sexual contacts. Sexual health means acceptance, means the release of any guilt or shame about sexuality, the recognition of sexuality as a channel for powers of creativity, joy, spontaneity, honor and vitality. These qualities can be expressed in many different ways, not just through sex. Problems arise when these qualities get blocked due to trauma, guilt, shame, insecurity, low self-esteem, idolizing sex, sex addiction etc.

Human sexuality can be seen as a means to channel Universal energy into matter, so that physical matter is ultimately infused with life energy and soul energy. The most obvious creation of this infusion is, of course, a baby! But it is not the only one. Through appropriate channeling of sexual energy, one can create a work of art, a book, a project, or just a joyous day, during which we laugh and love and sing and rejoice. Sexual energy, when properly channeled (according to ancient methods of yoga, for example) can help towards spiritual enlightenment. Seeing sexuality as a package of physical techniques on biological reflexes, in order to create some momentary euphoria, is a very limited view. It is like seeing sex, as a little ‘fix’ to produce a ‘high’ and this view hides the spiritual truth of sexuality.

As other areas of the human experience, sexuality can be a wonderful tool, but it can be used in different ways. It can be used for ill and darkness, or it can be used for love and truth. Ways, not contributing to the light, are when sex is used for hurting, humiliating, using, or exploiting another, or for escaping boredom and the sense of vacuum and emptiness we may feel. Yet, the vacuum inside cannot be filled by sex. Many people today try to fill what is, essentially, a spiritual vacuum with sex and end up feeling more empty than ever (especially if they have used other people for their own perceived ‘need’). Both partners tend to feel cut off from the source of life force, depleted rather than energized, end up seeing each other and themselves as worthless and unattractive. We are bombarded by the media with messages of sexual obsession and sexual using (“how to get him/her to meet your needs” etc), but no one tells us that what we do to another, we do, first and foremost, to ourselves. If, through sex, we humiliate or use another, this is how we will feel about ourselves: used and humiliated. If, on the other hand, sex is the way of expression of love and appreciation of another, then this feeling will multiply for ourselves also. Sex can be the tool to give love or pain. The choice is ours and this choice will affect (just like every choice we make) every aspect of our life, as well as life around us.

Sexual healing is not about spicy advice on achieving greater physical pleasure. Sexual healing is about who we feel we are, in the deepest recesses of our soul. Sexual healing is about clearing the guilt that comes from abuse we received from others or we inflicted upon others, in this or in past lives. It is about de-idolizing sex and shedding all fears around it, fear of rejection, of not being liked, of being without, of being inadequate. It is about seeing its true purpose: union, joy, co-creation. Many spiritually evolved individuals choose the celibate life of the monk or nun, not because sex is ‘bad’, ‘dirty’ or anti-spiritual, but because they use their sexual energy for spiritual ascension. This may not be for everyone, if they feel that this is not their path. Spiritual progress does not exclude sexual activity, but the latter has to rely on love and respect to assist the former.

Sexual healing is very important today for the progress of humanity, since this area gathers some of the most repressed and dark negative thoughts and acts. Think about women in abusive relationships or women stoned for ‘hypothetical’ (or even real) infidelity. Think of the pain in many relationships (which is always linked to sexual pain, directly or indirectly), which often leads to substance abuse, depression, even suicide. Think of those, sometimes advertised, sexual practices, which humiliate human beings, with the use of physical violence. Many forms of negativity charge sexuality today, especially when it is disconnected from the spiritual self and is used to channel lower energies.

Some examples of distorted use of sexuality are the following:

1) The degrading of women, has been going on for so long, in such a wide scale, that the accumulated memory leads many women (along with men) to depreciate themselves. Men and women often fail to see the connection of female sexuality to the qualities of beauty, tenderness, sweetness and the Divine Feminine, but only see it as a vehicle for physical pleasure. Many women, who dimly remember this connection with the Divine Feminine, try to reclaim it, but sometimes do not know how. They expect approval from a man, in order to feel this connection again and to feel good about themselves. They idolize outer appearance, as the measure of the erotic inspiration they emit. But, attractiveness stems from the flame of vivacity, of our spiritual essence, which is unique, exists in all of us and which, when embraced, can shine outwards to all. This is the real attractiveness and beauty. A woman feels good in herself for who she is and this ease makes others feel attracted, while feeling good also. Everyone wins. Even without sex, the recognition of one’s own light and of the light of another, can be the most sublime, etheric erotic interchange, which can even diminish the biological need for sex. Sex can come about, but it only unfolds as another step in the manifestation of a positive energetic connection, it does not create, or replace the connection.

Many women can be blocked sexually by the emotional wounds of the past. Betrayals, rejection, lack of affection, abuse from the past, may make them doubt themselves and obstruct the flow of life force, in all areas of their lives. In this case, it is helpful to visualise clearing the heart charka with the white light of the Goddess. Even if a woman did not have any negative emotional experiences, it is likely that she feels the universal wound of rejection and abuse of women, coming from the collective unconscious of millions of women who have been abused and still are, in the world today. Healing the heart charka in this way, she helps not only herself, but heals the global thought-form (“women are abused by men”), she sends the healing energetic matrix to be used elsewhere by other consciousnesses too. Since we are all connected, healing does not only heal us, but goes beyond us.

Women can also ask Goddess Aphrodite to help them heal and accept their sexuality, to help life force flow again as a creative and vital power in their lives. The Aphrodite energy is very helpful in healing female sexuality and the Divine Feminine for humanity. A woman can thus feel the strength, the joy and vivacity which the Aphrodite energy brings… Even though Aphrodite’s name has been long stained and mis-used for all sorts of prostitution or pornography related material, Her purity cannot be changed, neither could She ever die…

There is another issue which links female sexuality to the channeling and the energy of the Goddess on Earth. The Goddess was worshipped very actively in many ancient temples in many parts of the world, mainly through female priestesses, who were virgins or practiced chastity. This was very powerful, since there were a big number of priestesses indeed! In those times, celibacy did not have the meaning that it has had in many religions since, i.e. it was not about being ‘clean’, while condemning sex as ‘dirty’. It was about reserving the female sexual energy for channeling the Goddess, and it was a very powerful anchoring method for the Goddess’s energy. Until a time came when, even in spirituality, masculinity dominated (sometimes through violence by male priests). These male priests or other males may have been of the dark or not, but (in ancient Greece at least, but I presume in other parts of the world too), they destroyed the temples of the Goddess and, on some occasions, converted the temples for male deities. They also forbade the priestesses from practicing the worship, forced them to marry, sometimes raped them or trained them and corrupted them with sex, so that the temples of the Goddesses became more or less prostitution houses. Prostitution was NOT one of the methods of the Goddess! But it was a powerful way for male domination to divert female sexual energy from anchoring the Goddess on Earth. It was not so much that they corrupted or raped the priestesses for their own personal gratification (even though this was a side gain!), but their main aim was to close down the channel for the Goddess through the priestesses.

How does this relate to us today? The Goddess is coming back… And it happens that many women around the world, especially sensitive, educated, strong women, find themselves, for long periods of time, without a partner. Is this a coincidence? I do not think so. Rather than complaining, or longing for partner, or even worse, consume themselves with inappropriate relationships, it is important for these women to recognize that any period of celibacy has its purpose. To question themselves, as to whether they feel drawn to working with the Goddess, since the Goddess energy may be trying to get through to them. It does not have to be forever, nor do women have to become nuns. The Goddess may need to work with them in chastity for only a certain period of time. When this time is over, the right partner will appear without effort. Neither does it mean that married or sexually active women cannot be the Goddess’s channels (though ANY relationship or sex that is not mutually loving, kind and respectful would block the Goddess energy). In effect, the large number of women without a partner today reflects a spiritual calling from the Goddess, one to be grateful for and used well, rather than wasted in obsessing about finding a partner (in ways that some modern movies or books almost make fun of…) This is something new in our spiritual era and something to be honored. So, I feel it is quite important that single women are aware of this perspective, since for many of them, their cooperation is needed by the Goddess AND working with Her will make their lives much more fulfilling and sweet than they can ever imagine. It happened on so many occasions in ancient Greece and ancient Egypt, during the attack on the Goddess, that the priestesses were made to believe that they were good only for sex or that they could not make it without a man…The reversal, the healing of this distortion is taking place now…

On the other hand, many men can also feel blocked (even apathetic) towards sex, or they can be obsessed and addicted to sex. For men, the deity Pan can help in clearing the channel of sexual flow, in reconnecting with the current of life force through sexuality, regardless of the presence of a partner. Pan is the guardian of the life force energy source (which in the inner planes looks like a little like a waterfall), for the human and animal kingdom and I believe for Nature also. Since it is the same life force, the energetic interaction which occurs when we are in nature, breathing it and appreciating it, helps us open up the sexual channel and helps with sexual healing too. It is of no coincidence that in Greek mythology, humans were said to join erotically with nymphs, ethereal and elemental energies. The channels of life flow in humans were so clear and open, their frequency so high, that they could unite with the entities of Nature, showing that Man and Nature are one. It was not of course any form of the biological sex that we know of today, but it was an energetic union and interaction of the highest and purest level and beauty, which created more Light on Earth. Unfortunately, as the general energies spiraled down with the passage of time, this capacity was lost, and the once pure ceremonies of Nature in ancient Greece (and elsewhere) got replaced by drunken orgies.

Yet, as humanity and Nature evolve towards ascension, the two worlds with come close together once again. It is no coincidence that Pan, Who symbolizes the purest and highest triangle joining Nature, Man and the Divine, was brutally slandered, for many centuries, making Him appear as a satyr, a nymphomaniac, ugly, with horns etc. At times, His image was even taken to represent evil. None of this is true. Pan is one of the highest Masters of Light, the king of the Nature and of the Elemental Kingdom and He protects Nature and Man.He does NOT have horns, He has a very beautiful innocent loving face and lots of thick curly long hair. When He was in body on Earth, He could sometimes appear with goat’s legs (although He could also appear as fully human), but this was deliberately planned by Spirit, as a dramatic lesson of utmost importance to humanity about the equality of Man and Nature. A lesson, we are still struggling with today…

2) Sexual abuse, particularly of children, is one of the darkest distortions of human sexuality. What could lead someone to such behavior? There is never just one single reason, but it has been found that the many offenders in child sexual abuse have themselves been abused as children. What is very common in cases of child sexual abuse is memory repression, so that the adult bears no conscious awareness of what happened to him, even though he may have irksome feelings that something inside is deeply wrong. Unless they heal their original trauma, so that they reclaim their own wounded inner child, there is some likelihood for a few of them (though certainly not the majority of adult survivors) to repeat the trauma they endured and behave in a similar way to other innocent and vulnerable ones. In some cases, there may even be the element of revenge, power and control, humiliation, malevolent intent to destroy the innocence of the child victim, especially when the offender is also influenced by lower energies and entities. The more the offender passes his own shame and worthlessness onto the victim, the more ashamed and worthless he feels himself. Both lose, in an ever-deepening vicious circle of abuse and humiliation (which is always the sole responsibility of the offender). After each re-enactment, the offender feels more and more depraved, helpless, and worthless, so that he feels his only choice really is to do one more of the same.

If an offender wishes to heal (some do), it is very important first to be cleared of any negative energies or entities that may have been attached to him, either by those who abused him as a child (if this is the case), or during his own acts of offending. I believe that addictions, such as offending children sexually, practicing violent sex, or using heroin (among others), attract many negative entities to those involved, this is why it is so hard for many individuals to break away from them. This does not mean that the offender bears no responsibility, or in fact karma, for it is always he, who chooses what to do. But it is an important factor to consider and I believe that many therapy programs today for offenders and addicts, would be much more successful, if they included negative energy clearing. It is important for the offender to ask clearing and protection from the Beings of Light, like Archangel Michael, in order to keep away any dark energies, who may be trying to manipulate him. The offender can ask to be helped to act, think and feel only in pure and kind intent. He/She can ask from Pan to withdraw his/her energy from any destructive channels of expression and re-channel them to healthy ways of light and creativity. It is important to ask for help from the Highest Beings of Light, since the darkness involved in these cases can be quite persistent. I believe that 12 step programs for addicts are excellent in this regard (and child sexual offending is always an addiction), since their basis is fundamentally spiritual: the addict/offender needs to admit the destructive nature of his behaviour, to take responsibility for his actions and thoughts, to realize that, with help, he can change, to admit that he needs help in therapy and to take all necessary practical steps to commit to his therapy. All of this, of course, requires that he is wishful and ready to change. Many are not. But there are some, who can no longer bear the pain of the depravity their acts bring and wish to change.

What we, lightworkers can do, if we feel this is the right thing, is to pray, wherever it is permitted by God and does not interfere with karma and with God’s Plan, for child sexual abuse to come to an end and for child offenders and victims to heal, if and when they are ready. If we ask without judgement and with genuine caring for all involved, we are helping, not just the offender, but the many possible child victims that each offender could harm during the course of his life, if left untreated. Of course, we can pray for the protection and caring of all children involved.

As for the victimized child, he/she does not need to remain a helpless victim forever. He/she can heal and clear away the stain of shame that has been put on their soul by the offender. The sexual offence on children almost always aims to destroy the innocence in the child. But innocence cannot be destroyed. Children may think that they lost their innocence, but in reality, it has only been ‘frozen’ at a certain corner of their heart, only waiting to be warmed and reclaimed again. The survivor, when ready to heal, can get rid off the feeling of shame and wrongness, which was not theirs in the first place, can reclaim their power and self-love and feel safe with their power. Praying to the Mother Mary (or any feminine deity of white clearing pure light) to clear with the white light of innocence all remnants of memories of shame and pain can be very helpful, as well as praying to Pan and Aphrodite for sexual healing.

3) AIDS. It is of no coincidence that, at a time when sex is so often burdened with shame and darkness, to appear a disease, which is transmitted through sex, but which also is related with acute stigma, shame and in some environments, even repulsion. There are many negative psychological interactions around AIDS. There are places in the world, where virgins are raped, because the rapist believes that he will get rid of the ‘dirty’ virus by passing it on to a ‘pure’ other (the same dynamic with child sexual abuse: the offender abuses the child in a failed attempt to find a momentary relief from the burden of the ‘dirty’ shame, by passing it on to the innocent victim). HIV carriers are stigmatized (perhaps not so much in the developed world, but in many other parts of the world), as if there is something wrong with them. The virus has become a symbol of all the negativity we have projected upon sex, and has, in turn, been used as a tool to spread the shame and the negativity further, by stigmatizing and condemning people. We can visualize a white light clearing humanity and all those who wish to receive this, of all the shame, guilt, stigma, judgment, revenge, abuse, isolation, that relate to AIDS and HIV. We can send the white light of love and compassion and acceptance to all those who have died so far (20 million in Sub-Saharan Africa alone, often died in secrecy and isolation), as well as those who are affected now. The more people refuse to judge and turn away from those infected, but see them in light, love and equality, the more the virus (which represents shame, rejection and ‘dirtiness’ about sex) will lose its power. The white light of innocence, embracing the Earth, will help loosen the grip of the disease upon humanity.

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Fulfilling Your Sexual Potential in the Second Half of Life

Sexual desire and pleasure is our birthright. After all, we were created naked and with different genitals. There must have been a plan in mind. We are sexual beings from the day we’re born until the day we die. Sex is fundamental to our lives and seems to be the area of life that most deeply touches our most personal issues. Our sexuality is a core expression of who we are. We can hide with sex, we can hide from sex, but we cannot be fully ourselves sexually and hide.

Why have sex? Well, it is well known that sex enhances our lives in multiple ways, both psychologically and physically.

Health benefits include lower blood pressure, overall stress reduction, higher levels of antibodies so fewer colds and flews, burns calories, good exercise, improves cardiovascular health, boosts self-esteem, releases endorphins which makes physical pain decline and helps lift depression; reduces risk of prostate cancer; promotes sleep.

Interpersonally, good sex may be only 20% of a good relationship (80% when it’s bad), but it’s a crucial 20%. Orgasm increases the level of oxytocin, a hormone that allows us to nurture and to bond. Hence, sex increases love and connection even on a purely biological basis. Sex is an arena that is particular and special to a couple. We let ourselves be known to our sexual partner in a way that we don’t share with anyone else.

A couple who has a satisfying sex life is more able to create and sustain a long-term loving relationship. It is well known that people in stable relationships are thought to be more productive in their jobs, have better health and live longer.

The most rewarding sexual experiences are much more rich, diverse, and creative than the “get it up, get it in” approach. And sexual responsiveness has absolutely nothing to do with being able to meet the culture’s prototype of sexual attractiveness. Rather, it grows from connections of hearts, minds, and bodies. Truly good sex begins with a willingness to be open and vulnerable and to give and receive pleasure and nurturing freely. The psychological ability to share intimacy, both physical and emotional, is essential for good sex, but being intimate (as we’ll discuss later) is an art that confuses and even terrifies many individuals.

Good sex, then, is a complex concoction of openness and secrecy, risk and control, personal satisfaction and mutual fulfillment. Good sex requires an ability to be totally immersed in the moment (which is difficult for most people), ever-present to the sensuality of ourselves, our partner and our lives.

Sustaining a healthy, balanced sex life requires mindful attention to our senses, to the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual dimensions of ourselves, as well as our relationship with our partners. We must KNOW OURSELVES (“KNOW THYSELF”) to know what we want and need sexually. Then we need to have the courage and self-assurance to communicate these desires to our partner, even in the face of possible rejection. Also, we need to have relinquished some of the layers of narcissistic self-consciousness that, when young, may have prevented us from being truly attuned to another person’s reality and needs.

What I’m saying is: good sex requires PSYCHOLOGICAL MATURITY (which we all have because we’ve lived for a while now and have learned some things along the way.)

Mature lovers are more likely to experience not just satisfying sex, but are more likely to experience sexual ecstasy. Certain states may occur in sex where the boundaries of self are suspended in merger with the “other”. This kind of, well, self-transcendence, can open the channels to experiencing a sense of a broader, more universal connection.

Let’s see what the dictionary says about “ecstasy”: rapturous delight; intense joy; mental transport or rapture from the contemplation of divine things; displacement; trance; a shared sense of being taken or moved out of one’s self or one’s normal state, and entering a state of intensified feelings so powerful as to produce a trance-like dissociation from all but the single powerful emotion; this trance or rapture is associated with mystical exaltation.

Eastern societies routinely equate sexual ecstasy with spiritual enlightenment. Only in Western civilizations is there a chasm between sex and God.

So, it’s all good, right? Everything from lowering your blood pressure to experiencing mystical exaltation points to the fact that sex is a good thing.

But if it’s such a good thing, why are so many people not having sex?..or are subject to various sexual dysfunctions, compulsions or perversions?

The fact is that few of us will ever seize the opportunity to explore the full range of our sexual possibilities. One writer I read referred to those who achieve the heights of sexual fulfillment as “the blessed few”.

Why so few? According to a recent survey, one in five Americans is not interested in sex. According to recent estimates, more than one-third of the women in the United States have problems with low sexual desire. Even this statistic may be low, as people may be embarrassed to respond to the interviewer honestly. “Diminished sexual desire” in women, considered by some to be an epidemic, is the diagnosis “du jour” for many sex researchers and therapists.

The loss of sexual desire can undermine a person’s perception of herself, her relationship to her body and may cause an irreparable strain in her relationship. Chances are if her excitement for sex is diminished, her excitement for life in general is somehow compromised.

So why are there only the “blessed few”? One in five is “not interested”???? A third to a half of American women has no desire for sex???? What’s wrong with this picture? Why are so few people actually interested in having sex, exploring it, heightening it?

There are many, many reasons that people eschew sexual pleasure.

First, there are societal/cultural/religious influences. We live in a sex-negative culture. For instance, most Western societies do not support sexual education and development. Parents are still battling to eliminate whatever beleaguered sex education courses are offered in the schools (which, by the way, focus on procreation exclusively), stating that educating children about sex is the purview of the home. Yet, in the homes, silence is the order of the day and kids are still left to figure it out for themselves.

When children are left to their own devices, they are subjected to misinformation from peers and their own fantasies about what sex is. If they become fixated at these levels, there’s more of a chance that they’ll grow up with certain sexual problems. (perversions, dysfunctions and compulsions)

Western culture has historically done much to harm sexuality. Vestiges of the Victorian and Puritan eras, with their emphasis on exclusively procreative sex and discomfort with the idea of sexual pleasure, still resonate with many people, at least on an unconscious level. Sex is evil; sex is sin and eternal damnation.

(which has been a big problem in the Christian community throughout history, and still can resonate down from our own parents’ generation).

Today, we have the “free love” of the 70′s behind us, a growing understanding of sexuality in the mental health field, the significance of the women’s movement and the impact of the communications industry which have combined to break down some barriers to sexual understanding. But we STILL live in a sex-negative culture. The sexual terrain of our times, especially after AIDS, is filled with fear, uncertainty and reactivity – for “normal” people, never mind neurotics, homosexuals, alternative sexualities (BDSM), cross-dressers, people who embrace polyamory rather than monogamy,– AND for the baby-boomers who are trying to forge a new paradigm for sexy aging.

We still get mixed messages from the culture about sex. We’re still confused. “Sex is dirty, save it for someone you love.” Does sex have to be illicit for it to be good? Sex belongs as part of a committed relationship, which connotes high values but low passion. Honor and virtue do not seem to combine well with hot, trembling, lusty sex. Men in this culture still suffer from the “Madonna/Whore Complex”. Some men choose both but will have to be dishonest about it, thus making a tear in the fabric of the integrity of their primary relationship.

Then there’s the societal influence of new technology. The permeating influence of cybersex/pornography on men’s ability to attach and bond to a real, vital woman is a significant barrier to sexual intimacy. Divorce attorneys from the American Bar Association report that a whopping 50% of all divorces are the result of the husband’s addiction to cybersex – that is — pornography, chat rooms, webcam sex, ads for prostitutes, dominatrixes, female bondage and humiliation, the fetish of your choice.

Women, for their part, are encouraged to adorn themselves to be sexually desirable, but not to be sexual. In their historical roles as the guardians of morality, they fail as women if they “succumb” to their (base) sexual natures and allow for the experience of sexual pleasure. Religious traditions have, in fact, been part of this split way of understanding sexuality. The idea of sex as sin outside of marriage and sex as duty inside of marriage is still alive in the collective unconscious and has gone far to undermine the acceptance of sexual pleasure as normal and healthy. These antiquated ideas that there is something morally perverse about a woman who enjoys sex are cultural imprints that unconsciously paralyze many women when they try to experience their sexual selves.

It seems to me that the media, as the messenger of cultural values, promotes the image of an anorexic teenager as representing the height of sexual desirability. Can’t be too thin or too young (within legal limits) to have sex appeal. People are then obsessed with living up to this unrealistic standard for physical beauty being piped through the media. Women compare themselves to the unattainable, develop poor body images, and lose interest in sex.

(Ironically, physical beauty and sexual responsiveness are not interrelated. The fact is that superficial variables such as weight, age, height, facial structure OR the size of a penis make very little difference when it comes to a person’s ability to be sexually responsive and experience sexual passion.)

Our society also buys into the notion that good sex always involves intercourse and orgasm by both partners, preferably at the same time. This approach to sexuality is restrictive and unrealistic, especially as we get older. As I’ve mentioned, sexuality is a much broader arena than getting it up, keeping it up and getting it in. An emphasis on intercourse and orgasm strengthens the misconception men have that women need to be desirable and men need to perform. Performance anxiety and sexual dysfunction are the usual results of an exclusively intercourse/orgasm approach to sex. Furthermore, the focus on genital sex exclusively limits the full range of sexual/sensual dimensions that can be experienced in addition to, or instead of, intercourse.

Some people have “intrapsychic” conflicts about sexuality from having grown up with dysfunctional family dynamics. I don’t even want to think about the rampant sexual abuse of young females where the perpetrator is the father or other close family member. It doesn’t get reported, the rest of the family denies it, and the girl suffers in agonizing isolation, thinking it was her fault, until adulthood when she may get some treatment. Certain young boys are covertly incested by their mothers: there may not have been actual sex, but the mother may have been needy, narcissistic, enmeshed, over-involved, controlling and unable to let her son “differentiate” to become the individual that he should become. These boys may grow to be men with sexual problems.

However, the vast majority of sexual “shut-downs” comes from interpersonal conflicts between the partners. Anger, resentment guilt, hurt feelings, being shut-down and non-communicative are not the stuff upon which sexual fulfillment is built.

I think relationships go bad (and sex shuts down) (cite divorce rates) because the vast majority of people have misconceptions about love and intimacy. Yet, understanding intimacy is crucial to our understanding of hot and sweaty, yet warm and tender lovemaking. Sex is, by definition, an intimate act that is enhanced by the lovers knowing themselves and the other. If lovers are not able to know and disclose their deepest needs and wants to each other, sex becomes mechanical. This kind of knowing and communicating about wants, needs and fantasies requires a foundation of trust and safety that can be found in a loving relationship.

(A caveat – I have no problem with casual sex, booty calls, friends with benefits, or even “kinky” sex that’s not part of a primary relationship. This kind of sex can be fun and satisfying (depending on whether you respect each other), but it’s something altogether different than sex in a loving, monogamous relationship.)

Many people think of intimacy in terms of sentimentality or romanticism. To do so is to falsify it. “Being in love” is also a falsification of intimacy.

“Being in love” is a really a temporary state of insanity. Each person projects his/her own personal relationship agenda (established in childhood) on the other without having any real, knowledge of the other. Inevitably, the honeymoon is over, or people fall “out of love”, and disillusionment sets in. We do not want to give up our fantasy and grow into the reality of actually loving the person “as is”. At this point, either the relationship breaks off or the couple starts to work on building a relationship based in knowing the reality of each other.

People have all sorts of misconceptions about what “love” means. Love can mean sundry, ambiguous, neurotic and even evil things to some: Caring for, rescuing, infatuation with, dependence on, feeling close to, sacrificing for, being a martyr to, being sexually excited by, having a “trophy partner”, having control over another, being controlled by another, marrying someone who’s somewhat like you’re abusive mother in order to finally get her to change, the need for validation and admiration from the other, or the vilely self-destructive idea that love means pain – either from physical or emotional abuse.

These kinds of ill-conceived notions about love create plastic, destructive relationships in which intimacy cannot exist. These relationships can be used to manipulate others, to get our own narcissistic needs met at the expense of the other, and are in the service of other nefarious, unconscious, neurotic conflicts. Celebratory sex can’t exist in a plastic, alienated relationship because sex at it’s fullest requires us to authentic and connected with our lover.

So what is love? “I love you” means something very concrete. It means that I surround you with a feeling that allows you, even requires you, to be everything you really are as a human being at that moment. When my love is full, you are your fullest self. I experience you not as what I expect, not what I want, not as a mannequin upon which I cloche my unconscious, infantile, needs to have a parent and remain a child. You don’t need to reflect well on me. You are not my status symbol. You are, to me…your authentic self.

We love when we not only allow, but enable, enhance and enjoy the “otherness” of our partner.

Being loved, being moved by another’s acceptance into knowing ourselves as we really are may bring trouble, actually. The result of knowing what issues you have that impair productivity and intimacy may be painful, but it can be worked through. We grow with it. It is in human-to-human relationships that we learn, make mistakes and relearn. And the primary intimate/sexual relationship is where we can relearn most profoundly.

Love shatters roles and facades and is illuminative. The confirmation that you are loved lies in your increasing experience of being who you are. Love is unilateral…self as the one who loves actively, not so much the self who is in need of love passively. Real love requires no particular response from the other, so there is freedom of self expression without fear of disapproval or rejection. It is the fear of being alone (or being abandoned) that makes us dependent on the response of others, keeping us from experiencing authentic, real loving.

Let’s look at the word “intimacy”. Again, from the dictionary: the word is derived from the Latin intima, meaning “inner” or “inner-most.” Here again, it suggests that to be intimate, you need to know your real self. (KNOW THYSELF!!!) This ability to be in touch with our inner core is a requisite to being intimate.

Our intima holds the innermost part of ourselves, our most profound feelings, our enduring motivations, our values, our sense of right and wrong and our most embedded convictions about life. Importantly, our intima also includes that which enables us to express these innermost aspects of our person to “the other”.

So, to be in relationship, and to know yourself/your partner sexually, you need to know and respect your intima. The intima is also the way in which we value and esteem ourselves and determines how we are with being with others. To put it simply, if don’t value yourself, you can’t value another. If you’re not aware of needs and wants, or are shamed by them, then sex becomes no more than a fuck.

I think every person I’ve ever seen in my consulting room for sexual compulsions suffers from estrangement from his intimus. We can survive the disapproval of others. The feeling can be painful, but it’s nothing compared to the disapproval of ourselves. Your personal well being and your ability to love another cannot survive your dislike or disrespect of yourself. If you dislike yourself, you’ll never be comfortable with your sexuality.

It bears repeating… the outstanding quality of intimacy is the sense of being in touch with our real selves. When “the other” also knows and is able to express his real self, intimacy happens. Sexuality is both an expression of that intimacy and a bond that enhances intimacy. With this kind of personal/sexual intimacy, our growth experience as humans is energized, enhanced, and fueled. Intimacy is the most meaningful and courageous of human experiences. It’s why people long for it so.

However, despite this universal longing, the fear and avoidance of intimacy is a reality for many people. People fear and even dread that which they most long for. No wonder there’s such a demand for psychotherapists!

So why would people fear, avoid or sabotage this wonderful thing called intimacy and, in the process, avoid sex.

Our capacity for intimacy is formed in the crucible of the first two years of life. Mothers that are needy, narcissistic, depressed, enmeshed (over-involved), distant, too protective, controlling, chronically angry, addicted to substances, frustrated with their husbands and displace their needs onto their children… raise children who have the psychic imprint of closeness as being dangerous. They also raise children who will carry self-hatred into their adult lives unless they get good treatment.

As children, they developed a rigid defense system (boundaries, walls, turning inward to not need others) in order to psychologically survive. But what worked for them as children doesn’t work for them as adults. For these people, the vulnerability of intimacy harkens back to a time when they were vulnerable as children and they fear re-traumatization in their current relationship.

When a person like this is loved – seen in an affirmative light and encouraged to grow and change – this rigid defensive structure is threatened, so their psychological equilibrium is disrupted. Being loved is not congruent with the negative tapes they run about themselves. They can’t allow the reality of being loved to affect their basic defensive structure. Being vulnerable and open to change feels so threatening that they eschew close relationships and mature sexuality.

Entering into a relationship without having some resolution of childhood wounds results in various kinds of fear of intimacy: fear of being found inadequate, fear of engulfment, fear of the loss of control, fear of losing autonomy, fear of attack, fear of disappointment and betrayal, fear of guilt and fear of rejection and abandonment.

This panoply of fears and anxieties about being close and vulnerable definitely is not sexy. We are most open and vulnerable when we express ourselves sexually and we need to have a secure base in ourselves and our relationship to expose ourselves in this way.

Alright. Now let’s get to the nitty-gritty. Sex and aging.

Some of those “not interested” in sex may very well be the middle-aged and the elderly. They’ve bought into the myth that we’re supposed to stop being sexual after a certain age. The fact is, as we mature emotionally and psychologically throughout the lifespan, we mature sexually as well. We can look forward to the best years of our sexual lives because of that maturity. People under the age of 35 may look hot, but they rarely have the psychological maturity to achieve the kind of self-knowledge, intimacy skills, communication skills and willingness to be vulnerability that underlies intense sexuality.

In order to achieve sexual fulfillment as we grow older, we have to nullify – negate – disown and disbelieve — the sex-negative cultural myths about sexuality and aging. Let’s look at some of those myths now.

· The quality of sex declines for both men and women as they age.

· If a woman does not lubricate sufficiently or a man does not become erect immediately, it’s over for them.

· Erection problems are inevitable and incurable without medical intervention

· Female desire declines dramatically after menopause

· Men peek in their teens…then it’s all downhill.

· Women peak in their 30′s and lose interest in sex by 45-50.

· Men and women with heart disease or other medical problems should avoid sexual activity

· Sex has to end in orgasm

· Intercourse is the only kind of sex that counts; everything else isn’t sex

Those are the myths. But here’s what I think: older loves are more sophisticated about their own/their partners needs, have an increased ability to communicate sexual and emotional needs; there is improved sexual responsiveness in women and a corresponding improved ability to control ejaculation in men; a greater willingness to experiment with sexual variations; far greater technical proficiency as lovers with fewer inhibitions and an increased ability to have fun during lovemaking.

Sex need never disappear and orgasm in both men and women has been observed in the 9th decade.

Sex is different as we age and those who are able to retain a sense of sexual vitality are those who are able to integrate their altered and somewhat diminished, but by no means vanished, sexuality comfortably into their lives. Men, especially, tend to leave the sexual arena because these differences create frustration and anxiety. They compare themselves to their adolescent selves and feel defeated. The vast majority of sexual complaints of the elderly are a product of the person’s aversive psychological reaction to the normal age-related biological changes in sexual response.

Men change with age in that the frequency and intensity of orgasm diminishes. It takes a much longer time to up for “round two”. Older men no longer experience simultaneous erection, unlike much younger men who seem to be able to get it up just by…exposure to the air. By contrast, the older man needs to receive effective stimulation by his partner and then is perfectly able to attain erections.

Women, after menopause, may be less able to lubricate as freely as they once did. That doesn’t mean they’re no longer sexually responsive. All that is required is a sexual lubricate (I recommend Astrogel), and they remain capable of multiple orgasmic response throughout life.

Here’s a list of Hot Sex Tips, according to Dorothy.

* Don’t wait to be moved by desire or interest – allow yourself to be aroused and the desire will follow.

* Do consider some systematic way to relax and calm yourself before a sexual encounter. Anxiety is a killer of “in the moment” eroticism.

* Speaking of “in the moment”, do consider taking up some form of meditation that trains the mind to be focused on the present moment. The mind that is continually wandering to mundane life issues during sex will not be able to experience full sexual potential. (cite books) Being fully in the moment also reduces “spectering”, which is watching and evaluating your performance, which reducing the intensity of sexual experience.

* Do continue to cultivate your sexual skills and techniques. (Cite certain readings from the list).

* People, as they age, do experience fewer sexual fantasies, thoughts and interest. So it’s important to experiment with alternative (external) ways to become aroused. Different postures, sexual techniques, erotic films and videos, the use of sex toys, all result in a more imaginative and creative sex life..

* Do eat nutritionally and exercise – feeling vigorous helps your sex life immeasurably.

* Do not smoke or drink alcohol excessively. A minimum amount of booze (no more than two drinks a day) can be an aphrodisiac: too much makes you loose (or placid and soft) and can ruin your erectile functioning. Smoking also effects erectile functioning in later years.

In conclusion, I invite you to meet the challenge of mature sexual intimacy, and to be and remain…the erotic, celebratory, courageous and connected person that you’re meant to be.

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Sexual Behaviour in Humans

Sexual behaviour has been a subject of interest since time immemorial by the researchers. It is no longer a new term to be discovered. Many aspects of sexual behaviour still require attention by the researchers. It can be defined as a process which requires a number of sequential steps which ultimately lead to the expression of sexuality. The steps may include mate finding, attracting a partner, physical, emotional and sexual contact and finally sexual contact. Sexual activity also encompasses sexual intercourse, oral sex and masturbation. In some cultures sexual activity is accepted only after marriage but premarital and extramarital sex is not uncommon today. Some sexual activities are under the criminal act like the sexual activity is a person below sexual age and sexual assault. Most individuals participate in the sexual activity because of the sexual pleasure they experience from the orgasm. The successful, pleasant sexual activities include the sexual intercourse and masturbation.

Most people engage themselves in the sexual activity just because they feel sexually attracted towards the partner and some indulge in sexual act just a matter of pity or sympathy. The major criterion that a man and a woman indulge in sexual activity is to give birth to a child which is helpful in the continuation of the population. Some individuals also participate in the hate sex as they do not like each other and they heighten the sexual tension.

Prerequisites of Human Sexual Behaviour

How Females Get sexually Excited?

The first level which makes the female feel sexually excited is the foreplay. Foreplay is the step by which a feel is prepared to feel that she has been loved and she is prepared for the sexual intercourse. The next level of sexual activity in females is orgasm but females require greater stimulation in comparison to the males for getting excited. The two parts of the female body that help her to reach orgasm are the clitoris and vagina. The clitoris possesses about 8,000 nerve fibers and forms the part of the body which is richest in nerve supply. The stimulation of the clitoris helps the female to reach orgasm. The clitoris gets engorged with blood when a female is aroused during sexual activity. Grafenberg has discovered an area near the vagina of the female designated as g-spot which has some role in providing sexual pleasure to the excited female. The duration and intensity of orgasm is variable among women. Women are capable of experiencing sequential orgasms one after the other with a break of only few minutes. Although multiple orgasms are never experienced as they are impossible. Orgasm is later on followed by climax.

There are erogenous zones in the body of the female which are richly supplied by nerve fibers and whose stimulation results in enjoying the sexual activity by the female. The ultimate aim of the erogenous zones is to prepare the female for sexual intercourse and helping her in reaching orgasm. The erogenous zones are different in every woman. It is also possible that one female may feel sexually excited by the stimulation of erogenous zones while the other may not. There are certain areas in the body of female which when touched or kissed help in exciting the female. One such area is the ear. If the ears are kissed or touch gently the erogenous zones get excited and the female feels excited. Another sensitive area is that of lips and many females love being kissed on lips and they feel excited. Kissing of either of the lips or the ears is the beginning of the first act of the sexual activity which is the foreplay. Many females enjoy French kissing also.

Another sensitive area of the woman’s body is the neck. Many females get stimulated simply by the warmth of the breath of the partner, simple touch of the fingertips and kiss. Biting of the neck also stimulates the sensitive nerves. The undersides of the breasts and the nipples are also the sensitive areas and few females can get excited by a gentle touch of the breasts. Touching or kissing of these areas also help in exciting a female. The inner sides of thighs are also the erogenous areas of the female’s body. Touching or kissing of thighs and legs increases the degree of woman arousal. Feet are also the sensitive areas of the female’s body.

Edifying Angle

As concerned with other human behaviours the sexual behaviour is rather very much complicated. Many individuals enjoy same sexual activities throughout their lives while others try different types of sexual activities to enjoy their lives. Many people avoid sexual activities due to certain religious beliefs. Many humans stay monogamous which means they enjoy their sex life with a single partners while some wish to change their partners throughout their life.

Sexual behaviour in humans is governed by certain rules and norms and they are called as sexual morality and sexual norms. Sexual norms and rules consider legality, honesty and fidelity. Sexual crime in humans is not a new term. Many individuals are also indulged in prostitution and rape which comprise the category of sexual assault. The frequency of the sexual intercourse may range from zero to 15-20 a week. According to a report the frequency of sexual intercourse for a married couple is 2-3 times a week. It is clear that the frequency of sexual intercourse declines in the postmenopausal women. According to a report Kinsey Institute the frequency of sexual intercourse was 112 times a year in the people of the age group 18-29, 86 times per year in the people of age group 30-39 and 69 times per year in the people of the age group of 40-49 in USA.

Safety Slant
Sexual activity is not free of risks. There are three major risks that are associated with sexual activity and these are sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancy and physical injury. During sexual intercourse the risk of transmission of sexually transmitted disease is very high as the body fluids are exchanged. The chances of pregnancy are also increased during the sexual intercourse as even the contact of the semen with the vagina or the vulva may lead to possibility of pregnancy. The risk of pregnancy can be reduced by the use of contraceptive pills, condoms, spermicides, hormonal contraception and sterilization. During the sexual activity the physical and mental state of the partner should be kept in mind and one must avoid the use of alcohol, drugs etc. the laws have set up a minimum age for an individual to engage in the sexual activity. According to laws of India a female must be of 18 years and a male must be of 21 years of age. Most jurisdictions also prohibit sexual activity between very close relatives.

Child Sexuality
Children have been naturally thought to be curious about their bodies they wonder how babies come, difference in the physical appearance of girl and boy. They also indulge themselves in the sexual play which basically comprise of playing with the genitals. Children often engage themselves in the sex play either with their siblings or with their friends. Children are supposed to be symbol of purity unless and until they undergo further development. The first researcher who took child sexuality seriously was Sigmund Freud but his ideas were discarded at that time. Later on Alfred Kinsey also reported child sexuality in his Kinsey reports he suggested that the tendency of sex play decreases in children as they start going to school and indulge in studies. Curiosity still prevails but it comes into play when they reach maturity where sexual interest develops.

Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which a child is abused forcefully for the sexual gratification of an adult or an older person. The side effects of child sexual abuse are depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and physical injury to the body of the child. Child sexual abuse by a family member is a form of incest and may lead to serious mental disorder, trauma and depression. According to a report about 15-25% of the women and 5-15% of the men are abused sexually when they were child. The persons involved in such child sexual abuses are 30% the family members including fathers, cousins, uncles and 60% are friends, neighbours and strangers. However, strangers form a very small percentage of child sexual abuse and they form only 10%. Most sexual abuse of children is performed by men, females form a small proportion about 14% only.

The sexual behaviour varies with age and generally the people of old age show less sexual activity. In case of males orgasm requires more direct stimulation for erection of penis. The problem is very much intense in the age group of 65-80 as the males find it very difficult to get stimulated for erection. Although drugs are available for this purpose but complete guarantee is not present. Researches have proven that health in the old age plays a significant role in the sexual activity. Women become sexually inactive with advancing age.

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The Causes of Sexual Dysfunction and Women With Diabetes

Studies have shown that 90% of diabetics are type 2 and less than 10% are diagnosed with type 1. The patients diagnosed with either type are under an increased threat of vascular and neurological complication and psychological issues. The women who suffer from this may have many complications. In most cases the risk of diabetes diagnoses especially type 2. An increased amount of cases of sexual dysfunction correlated with the diagnosis. The research had to account for the use of contraception, hormone replacement therapy, and pregnancy. Sexual dysfunction is a common problem, albeit a problem that has not been studied in women with type 2 diabetes in depth.

Diabetes type 2 diagnoses is the leading cause of sexual dysfunction. There will be an increased amount of women diagnosed with this considered a larger proportion of the population in increasingly growing older and becoming more and more physically inactive. Thus, the rate of sexual dysfunction in women will also increase. It was not until this study that the direct correlation could be substantiated. The effect of sexual dysfunction was correlated to neurological, psychological and vascular affects and a combination of such. However, despite the common knowledge that there is an association in their measurements of such is hard to create. It is difficult to measure sexual function in women. In many cases the spouses sexual performance, quality of sexual intercourse, patients educational culture, and socioeconomic status was also a large part of the problem. They also have a decreased sexual desire, decreased stimulus, reduced lubrication and orgasm disorder. Thus, diabetes females are more at risk than others. In this study several surveyors were sued to evaluate sexual function disorders.

Sex is defined by the study as an ability to experience masculine or feminine emotions, physical stimulation and/or mental feelings. It is also a perception that is expressed by the sexual organs of another. The sexuality of a human being is determined by social norms, values and taboos. This is also determined by psychological and social norms and aspects. The nature of the disease was also defined in the study. It had to be, in order to evaluate the nature of sexual dysfunction with patients who are diabetic. Responses to sexual stimulation in the subjects was divided into four phases. These included the arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution phase. These phases were identified as the most detrimental and prevalent issues that affected women during sexual satisfaction.

In the first phase, the libido is accessed. This is the appearance of erotic feelings and thoughts. Real female sexual desires begins with the first phase. Also at this point sexual thoughts or feelings or past experiences help to create either a natural or unnatural arousal stage in patients. There second phase identified by searchers here was the arousal phase. In this phase the parasympathetic nervous system is involved. With that, the phase is then characterized by erotic feelings and the formation of a natural vaginal lubrication. The first sexual response begins with vaginal lubrication which follows within 10-30 seconds and then follows from there. What follows is typically a rapid breathing session or rather tachycardia that causes women to have an increased blood pressure and a general feeling of warmth, breast tenderness, coupled with erected nipples and a coloration of the skin. Most women experience this arousal phase.The third phase is defined as the orgasm phase or rather the time with increased muscular and vascular tension by sexual stimulation occurs. This is the most imperious of the cycles and is albeit the most satisfying for women. During this period women experience orgasmic responses from the sympathetic nervous system. Changes also occur in the entire genital region these include a change in heart rate, and blood pressure. The final phase of normal sexual stimulation is the resolution phase. During this period women have genital changes. Basically the withdrawal of blood from the genital region and the discharge of sexual tension as occurs after the orgasm will bring the entire body to a period of rest.

The basis of sexual responses cycle depends on normally functioning of the endocrine, vascular, neurological and psychological factors. Considering the brain is the center for sexual stimulation, sexual behaviors are directly correlated to the sense of being aroused. The study has defined sexual stimulation and peripheral stimulation. Central stimulation is defined as the act of being aroused and sexual desire is phenomena mainly mediated by the mesolimbic dopaminergic pathway. Dopamine is the most important known neurotransmitter system responsible for the arousal. The process breaks down to the fact that testosterone is responsible for both female and male desire and it increases blood flow either directly and indirectly through estrogen.

Sexual dysfunction has been classified and defined by the inability to experience anticipated sexual intercourse. This is a psychosocial change that complicates interpersonal relationships and creates significant problems. Orgasm disorder usually occurs with a recurrent delay or difficulty in achieving an orgasm after sexual stimulation.

Several sexual disorders have been affected by diabetes, many others are blanketed under the sexual dysfunction term. Sexual Aversion Disorder is the avoidance of all genital contact with ones partners. The difference between the phobia and the feelings of disgust and hatred are part of the phobia. Sexual Arousal Disorder is the inability to establish adequate lubrication stimuli in a persistent manner. Orgasmic disorder is defined as a persistent or recurrent delay in or lack of normal phases. Orgasm is the sudden temporary peek feeling.

According to the data from the U.S National Healthy and Social life survey women who are at risk for SD. In the study it was found that women with healthy problems have an increased risk for pain during intercourse. Also women with urinary tract problems or symptoms are at risk for problems during intercourse. The socio-economic status of women is another risk factor as well as women who have been the victim of harassment. Menopause has a negative impact on sexual function in women.

Sexual dysfunction was not limited to affective disorders, in fact socio-cultural and social demographic causes effected demographic and sociological characters were investigated. In the studies conducted sociodemographic characteristics like age, education level and income levels. Also the use of an effective method of family planning was related to the BMI and marriage were also factors in this decisions. The use of alcohol and drugs was also linked to a woman’s sexual response and leads to SD. The most prevalent use came from antidepressants received for the treatment of depression were reported with the use of the prescription drugs. The affects included a lack of lubrication, vaginal anesthesia, and delay in or lack of orgasm. Other drugs that have were found to affect female SD included anthypertensives, lipid-lowering agents and chemotheraputic agents. The study also took into account that chronic diseases like systemic diabetes and hypertension causes psychiatric disorders, including depression, anxiety disorders, and psychoses are attributed to chronic disease states.

Diabetes is a common chronic disease with more than 90% of diabetics having been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Diabetic patients have been found to have an elevated risk of vascular and neurological complications and psychological problem.Thus, because of this it has been found that diabetics are prone to having female sexual dysfunction. Thus, the subject of female diabetic SD was largely unrecognized until 1971. Even at that time in an article the study was the first to evaluate limited cases of sexual dysfunction in women. Studies with females who have been diagnosed with SD. Diabetic females with sexual problem are explained with biological, social and psychological factors.

Hyperglycemia had been found in many diabetic women who have been diagnosed with SD. It reduces the hydration of the mucus membranes of the vagina. It in turn reduces the lubrication levels, leading to painful sexual intercourse. The risk of vaginal infections increases because of that and so too does vaginal discomfort and painful intercourse. It is clinically hard to measure sexual function in women. In many cases medical history, physical examination, pelvic examination and hormonal profile were reviewed. The subjects were questioned in detail regarding spouse’s sexual performance, quality of the sexual intercourse, the patients educational level and socioeconomic status. The several questionnaires which were used to evaluate sexual function disorders were a substantial methodology. Sexual inventories were then classified in two groups. The information obtained through a structured incentive allowing the discloser of terms. There was fact to face interview and also many sexual inventories which were based on the human sexual cycle.

There were 400 female patients that applied to the hospital or diabetes center. The test was conducted between June 2009 and June 2013. There were first non-voluntaries or those who met the exclusion criteria and type 1 diabetics were excluded from the study. This study also included 329 married women, there were 213 diabetic and 116 non-datebooks. All of the women in this study were sexually active and had a spouse. Also the survey questions were asked questions in a face to face attack. The subjects were given questionnaires and the volunteers who were inactive or had an illness were excluded from the study.

It was also important in the study to take into account demographics. These included the age of the participants, their weight, and their height. Their weight circumference, BMI and education level were also part of this study. With diabetic patients the plasma glucose level was also reviewed. In this study the reliability of the female sexual function index and the test-retest reliability was a.82 and a.79. The version of the validity and reliability of the scale was performed.

Another form of measurement was the Arizona Sexual Experiences Scale, again another form of questions used to measures the experiences that women have and how they were able to deal with them. Patients that were treated with psychotropic drugs were the main focus of this experiment. This is a set of five questions created to show a minimal disturbance with patients. The scale aimed to assess sexual functions by excluding sexual orientation and relationships with a partner. The format that was used for most women in this study included several questions regarding sexual drive and arousal.

Still other tests were utilized. These included the Golombuk-Rust Inventory of Sexual Satisfaction (GRISS). The utilization of this test was yet another set of questions that were given to males and females (28 males, 28 females) and were aimed at objectively evaluating the heterosexual relationship of the individuals and to identify the level of dysfunction of the subject. The results again found that women with diabetes are more prone to suffering from dysfunctional disorders.

Of course researchers looked into the subjects BMI and found that 23 of only 7% of the patients were in the normal range of the BMI which at the time was 18.5-24.9 kg. The mean BMI was also only 33.11 in patients with diabetes. The majority of patients that had higher BMI issues were smokers. So not only was it diabetes that attributed to SD but smoking and drug use caused additional complications. Also, 193 were premenopausal and 136 were postmenopausal. The average number of patients who were diagnosed were also on oral antibiotic medications in combination with insulin and in some cases antilipedemic medications. Many patients were not using medications at all which may result in the reference that they were suffering from the disease because they were unable to move through their diabetes diagnoses.

The study conducted found that there was no correlation between the age of a patient a their FSFI. Plus, there did not seem to be a correlation between the BMI and FSFI and the sub structures like desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm, sexual success, and pain with diabetic women. Some of the volunteers had children, one to three children in fact. There again was no direct correlation with diabetic women with children or without. However there was a correlation with women who had a more children and their ability to reach an orgasm. Perhaps due to the multiple births and the destruction that it could have caused neurologically.

Specifically when addressing diabetes, researchers wanted to understand the extent of the SD disturbance. The attributes of a imbalanced hormonal system, vascular constrictions and increased sexual problems cause the physiological and psychological responses that were found. The differences in the mechanisms of the neurotransmitters during sexual responses in women with diabetes and without diabetes was the leading contributor to a decreased sexual appetite.

Women have many dimensions that lead to their diagnoses. Sexual function is affected therefore when a woman is diagnosed with diabetes. The research also found that female lubrication occurred only during the arousal phase. But the dysfunction was largely affective, meaning that women were unable to become lubricated during the arousal phase. Women who were insulin dependent had little or no evidence of dysfunction while non-insulin dependent patient status had a negative effect on sexual disorders. This included the ability to orgasm, lubrication during arousal, sexual satisfaction, and sexual activity. This suggests a more comprehensive explanation that SD might be related to the age at which the diabetes develops.

Also women who have a genital disease will also have be unable to achieve ideal sexual arousal. Other factors besides diabetic mediations include other medications. For instance, antibiotics used to treat urinary infections and oral contraceptives have been attributed to an adverse sexual function in women. These medication will also heighten a woman’s ability to reach normal sexual functioning. Again the psychological effects of diabetes will also cause women to be unable to reach an adequate amount of sexual ability. Typical feelings from diabetic patients that have been reported to researchers include a feeling of isolation, feeling of being unattractive, loneliness and isolation. These are mainly caused from the diagnoses and a lifestyle change. Women who have these symptoms or feelings are advised to seek treatment with their medical doctor and to seek a therapist. They should advise them of the feelings, to seek a holistic treatment plan.

Researchers advise that there are holistic treatments available for women who are suffering from these diseases and including the inability to organism which can be remedied with vibrating tools or psychosomatic techniques. Also a reduced libido may be a form of depression and therapists will address the patients self image during the scores of holistic treatment. This may in fact lead to a better self image and an increased libido. The loss of genital sensations can also be attributed to diabetes. Many patients have been advised to use entertaining vibrating tools in order to treat

Sexual dysfunction is mainly caused by a blanket of issues but according to recent studies by Paul Enzlzin, MA, Chantal Mathie, MD, PHD and others the direct correlation between medications in 90% of patients diagnosed with diabetes medication and disease state causes sexual definition. The effects are a common problem, 20% to 80% of women are reported as having a sexual dysfunction. The disease Diabetes Mellitis is the leading systemic disease of sexual dysfunction. Research has found that the cause largely forms because of psychological and physical issues. Thus leading to the inability to stimulate during sexual intercourse.

For many researchers configuring how to asses a woman’s sexual dysfunction was challenging. Talking about it presented a taboo and in many cases this would not lead to a very honest or comfortable conversation for the participant. That is why researchers utilized questionnaires and face to face interviews. This included the Female Sexual Function Index which was created in 2000. At that time Cronbach’s coefficient test-retest reliably was found to be about.82-.79. It is in essence a questionnaire that is composed of six sections that measure desire, arousal, lubrication, satisfaction, pleasure, and pain. The topic is also given a score system between 0-6. The 1st, 2nd and 15th questions are then also scored between 1 and 5. The other questions are scored between 1 and 5. This was only one of the measurements that researchers utilized to gain a better understanding on the role of sexual dysfunction and women with diabetes.

Patients or subjects are encouraged to speak with their health care provider regarding any issues they may begin to feel with a lack of sexual desire. There will be minor episodes of this feeling or it may progress into something less attractive. Episodes of depression will periodically affect the already progressing SD these too will be a point that many should discuss with their physicians.

Patients who are diagnosed with diabetes and then depression should seek therapy. In many cases the treatment may include antidepressants and holistic approaches. Lifestyle changes such as the implementation of a healthy and balanced lifestyle may help patients to improve significantly.However, that was found only in patients that made positive lifestyle changes accordingly. The medications that affect depression however will and may cause more complexities with SD. Moreover, only further testing will provide conclusive evidence.

SD is a chronic and persistent problem in women diagnosed with diabetes. Until this recent study the appearance of sexual dysfunction had not been studied enough. The impact if studied properly will largely affect most of the population diagnosed with diabetes. In recent years this the diagnoses has grown because the population has increased. Research with women and sexual dysfunction is scarce and also filled with flaws in the methodology of the research. The presence of the diabetes complications, the adjustment that patients have to the disease, and the psychological factors surrounding the disease affect it. The relations that they have with their partners are all part of the complications that arise with diabetic sexual dysfunction diagnoses in women. The study or research attempted to examine the prevalence of the dysfunction in women, the problems that occurred with an age matched group and the influence that diabetes had on female sexuality. The psychological factors that inhibited adequate sexual functioning were also measured in the most recent study.

Again in these studies women reported having less satisfaction during sex, avoided it as well. Researchers believe that these women who in particular were suffering from type 2 diabetes felt that they were less sexually attractive because of their body image. Researchers also examined psychological aspects of older type 2 diabetes in women who reported that they felt their bodies were less attractive then non-diabetic women. 60% or more of women in this study did not have a dysfunction, other than physiological symptoms or diabetes.

Much research has stated that if the patient is having difficulties it is important to have a talk with a physician about the probable side effects they will be suffering from. Women with diabetes who were suffering form the onset of menopausal symptoms could not be correlated to SD. In fact women who reported sexual problems were not significantly different in age though to the women who had an onset of menopause. The overwhelming evidence however suggested that psychological dysfunction and its accordance with diabetes was a crucial deciding factor to a rise in SD cases. The majority of research findings have concurred with it, stating that they in fact are able to correlate within the study.

A poor self image in women with diabetes leads to a loss of self esteem, feelings of unattractiveness, concern about weight gain and negative body images. The occur largely around the issue of weight gain, which follows with anxiety. There is evidence that these problems are common in older women who have been diagnosed according to several questionnaires that were used to evaluate women in the studies from 2009-2010. Research could suggest that it is because older women may be without a sexual partner and their diabetes could add to feelings of inadequacy. Younger women tend to worry about the effects that the disease and what it will have on their physical appearance especially with insulin therapy. If women begin healthy eating patterns then the main cause will have not issue on the physical appearance on women with proper nutrition. A woman has to be able to communicate with her partner and others around her in order to make sure that everyone understand the problems she is facing. However diabetes coupled with poor self images will lead a woman to become and introvert and therefore keep her feelings to herself. Thereby causing SD and a loss of social experiences by the woman in fact who has been battling these disease states.

A woman’s sexual desire has been found to be low, painful and absent. Thus, of this issue women will not be able to have healthy relationship. Unfortunately there has not been much research conducted with women because the variables have been to hard to control. But recently in this recent study conducted in 2009-2010 the questionnaire gave insight into the mind of women suffering form this disease. The limited study has prevented women from seeking out help and having a renewed interest in the problem. Limited studies have found that this problem affects largely about 50 % or more of women diagnosed with the disease. Most women who have type 2 and 1 diabetes are statistically going to stop having sex as much as their male counterparts because of their lack of a valued self image. In fact there are many sociological risks to not having adequate support systems to help minimize the impact the diabetes has on a lifestyle.

The changes that take place in a woman’s body who has been diagnosed with diabetes type 2 have largely been ignored. There are a plethora of issues at play here including detrimental issues affecting the central nervous system.Therefore, a woman’s sexual desire is largely affected by not only the CNS, but many other factors. In some cases these may include a hormonal imbalance caused by pre-menopause. Regardless there is a correlation between female diabetics and the changes in estrogen and sexual arousal stimulation. In the study the decreased sexual function and diabetes was also found to have a direct correlation in women who were overweight. This correlation was diminished in women who were average.

However of all of the contributors that will and do cause dysfunctions with women in sexual dysfunctions a poor self image was the leading cause. Depression was established in many women with a poor self image. Studies have shown that there is a direct link with diabetes and SD which is linked to a psychological disorder within women. Also diabetic women with this dysfunction were at least two times more likely to have sexual dysfunction than women without diabetes. In many cases depression caused a lack of sexual arousal or desire and a lack of physical performance when initiating the act. Therefore, a woman who is diagnosed with diabetes is at a higher risk of complications that harm her self confidence, her physiological health and her social interactions. Her daily routine will even be affected due or her lack of sexual arousal.

Specifically when addressing diabetes, researchers wanted to understand the extent of the SD disturbance. The attributes of a imbalanced hormonal system, vascular constrictions and increased sexual problems cause the physiological and psychological responses that were found. The differences in the mechanisms of the neurotransmitters during sexual responses in women with diabetes and without diabetes was the leading contributor to a decreased sexual appetite. Several risk factors were associated with sexual dysfunction including health problems which affected sexual intercourse, mainly in the form of pain associated with penetration. There are also several other causes that can be attributed to sexual dysfunction including urinary tract symptoms and arousal issues. However not necessarily in direct correlation to diabetes, but it becomes a symptom of the sexual dysfunction that may be attributed to diabetes as an after effects. Women who were diagnosed with type 2 diabetes had a direct correlation with sexual dysfunction. It was only with this research that many methodologies were proven useful in capturing the information.

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